Fun Quips

  Thank you for visiting Fun Quips. Be sure and visit Vital Info, the Ladies Page, and Christian Treatise, ya he'r! Don't forget that we cover Christian subjects; also society, culture and other religious and spiritual matters of interest. Come back soon now!

If you have a fun story that you would like to share with others from throughout the country, please e-mail your story to us at gibbons5@cox.net Here are just a few Fun Quips. They have been edited but not strictly Christian.

Christianity is the only true religion. Christian Bulletin speaks of Christianity, society, culture, religion. You must be a Christian by faith in Jesus Christ to enter heaven. Christian Bulletin also talks about the religious bulletin, the spirituality of different people, along with their spiritual condition. Religious people don't mean to be too religious or seem too spiritual. God is also mentioned in Christian Bulletin, along with Jesus, Jesus Christ or Christ himself. Psalms and Proverbs, along with the church is spoken of by faith. Christian Bulletin includes worship and mention of Baptist churches.

          Pray for this Web Site and pass the Site Address along to others, maybe via E-Mail at the end - www.christianbulletin.com

  {It says something about  our times that we rarely use the word sinful, except to describe a really good desert. --Willard D. Ferrel}

{Note: The Christian Bulletin Editor sifts through a lot of "garbage" to bring you clean jokes. Please spare my throat if I slip up.

Joke of the day - There are no jokes today. When they return, I will bring them to you. Try these two jewels.

Black and Gold Boxes
By: Author Unknown

I have in my hands two boxes
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black,
And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded his words, and in the two boxes
Both my joys and sorrows I store.
But though the gold became heavier each day
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black.
I wanted to find out why.
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be."
He smiled a gentle smile at me.
"My child, they're all here with me."

I asked, "God, why give me the boxes,"
"Why the gold, and the black with the hole?"
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."

Blessings Usually Come In Disguise
By: Author Unknown

The only survivor of a shipwreck washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with the smoke rolling up to the sky.

The worst had happened; everything was lost.
He was stung with grief and anger.
"God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.

"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
Never forget blessings do come in disguise!!
Inspirational Stories and Poems

  {From Yesterday if you missed it}

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. It could be a right number.

In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happened, you can bet it was planned that way.

My favorite part of the weather report is the satellite photo. This is really helpful. A photograph of the earth from 10,000 miles away. Can you tell if you should take a sweater or not from that shot?

Customer: I'd like to try on that dress in the window.
Saleslady: I'm sorry, madam, you'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.

On a recent tour of the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C., our guide pointed out a tall, benevolent-looking gentleman and informed us that he was the Congressional Chaplain.

One of the ladies in our group asked, "What does the Chaplain do? Does he pray for both the House and the Senate?"

"No, ma'am," replied the tour guide. "He gets up in the morning, looks at the assembled Congress, and prays for the country!"

A Catholic boy was bragging to his Jewish friend. "My priest knows more than your rabbi."

"Of course he does," said the Jewish boy. "You tell him everything."

Household hint - #399
If you get a rash from the back of a wrist watch, brush the back of the watch with clear nail polish. When it wears off repeat. Sometimes if you have too much acid in your body this will happen.

Seat belts aren't as confining as wheelchairs.

How many football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
The entire team! Any they all get a semester's credit for it.

A man exercises by sucking his stomach in every time he sees a beautiful woman.

You know something? If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh wait, he does.

What were George W. Bush's three hardest years?
Second Grade.

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.

Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemnly.

"There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find fault with the rest of us." - James Truslow Adams

Man who streaks is unsuited for his work.

Money may buy a dog; only kindness can make him wag his tail.

Today's useless fact - What is the Adam's apple and what does it do?
Adam's apple is the big bump jutting out from the throats of most men and is really a part of the larynx or voice box. It is usually said that Adam's apple takes its name from the biblical story about Adam, Eve. the serpent and the apple. A piece of the forbidden fruit stuck in Adam's throat and created the anatomic Adam's apple. So the story goes. However, it may be wrong.

Adam's apple in Latin is "pomum Adami." This may have been a mistranslation of the Hebrew "tappuach ha adam" which also means male bump. Between Latin and English there's many a slip.

When boys go through puberty, hormones cause the larynx to grow rapidly, deepening their voices and causing the Adam's apple to form. Girls' voices also deepen with puberty, but since their larynxes don't tend to grow as much, they don't usually develop an "Eve's apple."

We learned the protrusion is actually composed of thyroid cartilage. Your larynx is surrounded by a skeleton of cartilage plates that prevents it from collapsing. The Adam's apple, properly called the prominentia laryngea, is the central ridge where two plates of cartilage meet.

Technically speaking, the Adam's apple doesn't really "do" anything. In fact, some folks consider the bobbing bump an eyesore and undergo cosmetic surgery to make it less prominent. The procedure is called a trachea shave and is typically performed on men who either want to reduce an uncommonly large Adam's apple or who want to make the bump completely invisible after a gender reassignment. -Top Greetings

      Just click and then click your return button

                         Hey, it's just fun.

Home | Fun Quips | Vital Info | Ladies | Christian Treatise | e-mail

Copyright 2000 Christian Bulletin. All Rights Reserved.